Suicide Prevention Month: When Someone Is Hurting, Connection Matters
September is Suicide Prevention Month, an important time to pause, have difficult conversations, and remind one another that no one should have to carry overwhelming emotional pain alone. Suicide is a deeply complex and personal experience, often occurring when someone feels that their pain has become unbearable and that there is no clear path forward. While we may never fully understand what another person is experiencing, we can choose to listen, remain present, and help them find a path toward support and hope.
For many people, talking about suicide can feel uncomfortable. We may worry about saying the wrong thing, making the situation worse, or not knowing how to help. Sometimes we avoid the conversation altogether because we do not want to acknowledge the possibility that someone we care about may be struggling. But silence can create more isolation.
A compassionate conversation can create connection. It can communicate something incredibly important to someone who is hurting: I see you. I care about you. You don’t have to face this by yourself.
Understanding the Pain Behind Suicidal Thoughts
Suicidal thoughts are rarely about simply wanting life to end. For many people, they reflect an intense desire for emotional pain, hopelessness, or circumstances that feel impossible to escape to stop. When someone is overwhelmed, their ability to see alternatives can become narrowed. Problems that might normally feel manageable can begin to seem permanent and insurmountable. This is one reason empathy matters so much.
Someone experiencing suicidal thoughts may not necessarily appear sad or visibly distressed. They may continue working, attending school, caring for their children, participating in activities, or interacting with friends while struggling internally. Others may become increasingly withdrawn or disconnected. There is no single way that suicidal distress looks. Understanding this can help us move away from assumptions and toward curiosity and compassion. Rather than asking ourselves, “Why would they do this?” we can ask, “What might they be experiencing that has brought them to this point?” That shift in perspective can change the way we respond.
Recognizing the Signs of Suicide Risk
There is no single warning sign that means a person is suicidal, and not everyone who experiences these signs is thinking about suicide. However, significant changes in someone’s mood, behavior, communication, or relationships can indicate that they are experiencing emotional distress and may need support.
Someone may begin talking about feeling hopeless, trapped, or like they have no reason to continue. They may express that they are a burden to others or that the people in their lives would be better off without them. Statements such as “I can’t do this anymore,” “Nothing is ever going to get better,” or “There is no point” should be taken seriously, particularly when they represent a noticeable change from the person’s usual way of communicating.
Changes in behavior can also be important. A person may withdraw from family and friends, lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed, experience significant changes in sleep or appetite, have difficulty functioning at work or school, or begin using alcohol or other substances more frequently. They may become unusually agitated, anxious, angry, or emotionally overwhelmed.
Some individuals may begin putting their affairs in order, giving away meaningful possessions, saying goodbye to people in ways that seem unusual, or suddenly becoming preoccupied with death. A significant increase in emotional distress following a major loss, relationship change, trauma, financial difficulty, health concern, or other life crisis can also warrant attention.
One of the most important things to remember is that a person’s appearance does not always reflect their internal experience. Someone can smile, socialize, accomplish things, and still be hurting deeply. If you notice a meaningful change in someone you care about, you do not need to determine whether they are “really” suicidal before reaching out. Your concern is enough reason to check in.
Sometimes the Most Therapeutic Thing We Can Do Is Listen
When someone shares that they are struggling, our instinct may be to immediately reassure them or try to fix the problem. We may say, “Things will get better,” “You have so much to live for,” or “Try not to think that way.” These statements often come from a place of love. But when someone is experiencing profound emotional pain, they may not feel understood by them. Instead, try creating space for the person to talk. Listen without judgment. Allow pauses. Resist the urge to immediately provide solutions. You might say, “That sounds incredibly difficult,” “I’m glad you told me,” or “I can hear how overwhelmed you are.” And if you are concerned that someone may be thinking about suicide, it is okay to ask directly. Asking, “Are you thinking about suicide?” does not plant the idea in someone’s mind. It can actually provide relief by giving them permission to talk openly about something they may have been afraid to share.
The goal is not to interrogate or conduct a clinical assessment. It is to open a door.
Connection Can Interrupt Isolation
One of the most painful aspects of emotional distress can be the belief that no one understands or that no one would want to know what we are experiencing. Shame can make that isolation even stronger. This is particularly important for adolescents and young adults. Young people may not always recognize their own emotional distress or have the words to describe it. Depression or anxiety may look like irritability, anger, withdrawal, declining grades, conflict at home, changes in friendships, excessive sleeping, or spending increasing amounts of time alone.
Parents and caregivers may find themselves asking, “What’s wrong?” only to hear, “Nothing.” Sometimes “nothing” means, I don’t know how to explain what is happening to me. Creating an environment where difficult emotions can be discussed without criticism or punishment can make it easier for young people to eventually open up. A conversation does not have to happen perfectly. What matters is continuing to communicate that you are available and willing to listen.
Mental Health Care Can Create a Path Forward
When emotional pain becomes overwhelming, professional support can provide an important source of stability and perspective. Therapy can offer a safe place to talk honestly about thoughts and feelings that may feel frightening, shameful, or difficult to share with others.
A therapist can help an individual understand the experiences contributing to their distress, identify patterns that may be intensifying hopelessness, develop healthier coping strategies, strengthen relationships, and work toward a greater sense of possibility. For some individuals, medication management or additional behavioral health services may also be appropriate. Effective treatment is not one-size-fits-all. Care should be based on the individual’s needs, circumstances, level of risk, and goals.
For families, treatment can also provide guidance and reassurance. Loved ones may feel frightened or unsure about what to say or do when someone they care about is experiencing suicidal thoughts. Having professional support can help families navigate these moments while recognizing that they do not have to carry the responsibility alone.
Telehealth Can Bring Care Closer to Home
For someone already struggling emotionally, the process of seeking help can feel overwhelming. Finding a provider, traveling to appointments, taking time away from work or school, arranging transportation, or navigating childcare can create additional barriers. Telehealth can make mental health care more accessible by allowing individuals to connect with licensed professionals from a familiar environment. For some people, beginning therapy from home feels safer and less intimidating than walking into an unfamiliar office.
For families, virtual care can also make it easier to participate in treatment and remain connected to the care team. This can be particularly meaningful when supporting adolescents and young adults, who may benefit from care that feels accessible and integrated into their everyday lives. Telehealth is not appropriate for every clinical situation, and individuals experiencing an immediate emergency require an appropriate level of crisis or emergency care. However, when clinically appropriate, virtual mental health services can be a meaningful way to reduce barriers and help people connect with support.
We Can All Be Part of Prevention
Suicide prevention is not about having the perfect words. It is not about knowing exactly what to say or being able to solve another person’s problems. It is about being willing to notice when someone is hurting. It is about asking the question instead of assuming someone is okay. It is about listening instead of judging. It is about taking someone’s pain seriously and helping them connect with people who can provide appropriate support. And sometimes, it is simply about staying connected. A text message. A phone call. Sitting together. Checking in again tomorrow. These seemingly small acts can remind someone that they matter and that they are not alone.
If you are concerned that someone may be experiencing suicidal thoughts, encourage them to connect with a mental health professional and remain engaged with them while they seek support. If someone is in immediate danger or has an imminent risk of harming themselves, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.
In the United States, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available by calling or texting 988 for confidential crisis support.
If you are struggling yourself, please know that asking for help is not a failure. You do not need to wait until things become unbearable before reaching out. You deserve support simply because you are hurting.
This Suicide Prevention Month, Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
Suicide Prevention Month reminds us that prevention happens not only during moments of crisis, but every day, in our families, schools, workplaces, communities, and relationships.
It happens when we make mental health conversations less frightening and less stigmatized. It happens when we recognize changes in someone we care about and choose to reach toward them rather than away. It happens when we make professional mental health care easier to access and remind people that seeking help is an act of courage. Most importantly, prevention happens through connection.
We may not always be able to take away another person’s pain. But we can sit with them in it. We can listen. We can remind them that their current circumstances do not have to determine their future. And we can help them find the professional support they need to begin moving forward. Sometimes, hope begins with simply knowing that someone is willing to stay, listen, and help.